For the first time today I posted on what is called on Instagram “Transformation Tuesday” in probably a year I had not taken the time to look back at how far I had come in my journey to a healthier me. Honestly, I wish I had a picture from the first day of my journey, but I do not. The picture on the left is a picture where I was probably 40-50 lbs lighter than my highest recorded weight. In the picture on the left, I was a shell of a person, I am not even sure I was actually living. I was more than likely just going through the motions of life. At that point I had been a nurse for two years, which was one of the greatest things I could have done for myself and Claire, but I feel like part of me got lost in the process, before nursing school I had lost quite a bit of weight just by dieting and exercising, and then I enrolled in nursing school, and that all went out the window, and I gained everything I had lost and then some.
When I graduated nursing school I had to do something, I wasn’t quite sure what it was but I knew that I felt like shit, and I knew that I was miserable. I was simply existing, not living. So I began my journey in March of 2015. It wasn’t ever easy and I’ve had my share of screw-ups along the way, but my end goal has always been to be healthier. I have tried everything under the sun, from keto to counting macros, to protein shakes and liquid diets. I will say the most success I’ve had has come from counting macros and working out. I currently do not track macros, but what I try to do is limit my portions and I also try and eat as nutrient dense foods as I possibly can. Does this mean I skip wonderful things like King Cake and Beignets on Fat Tuesday? Absolutely not, but does this mean tomorrow I will try and clean my diet up as much as I can to balance out the goodies I’ve eaten today? yes!
This post wasn’t intended to be about what I did to lose weight, that will come later, but more about the difference in the people in the pictures. The girl on the left was scared of everything, she was terrified of pictures, she was scared to bare her soul to anyone, she was even more scared to take pictures of herself to doccument how far she had let herself go. She was withdrawn and she pretty much went to work, and came home and did the things she had to do for her daughter and that was it. The girl on the right is slowly coming out of her shell, she is learning to love herself for everything she has gone through, she believes that she is destined for great things, she works hard and she prays even harder. She is no longer ashamed of herself, she knows that she has been through hell and back, and she knows that in order to succeed she has to embrace every single part of her life, good bad and ugly. She knows that she is not able to be afraid of everything anymore, she is working on her mental and spiritual health, she is working on being the best version of herself for herself and for her daughter.