Self Confidence

In my last post, I touched on how my self-confidence was in the shitter and I also touched on how it was my goal to start working on it. I was in a real sour mood all day today when I started thinking and I had an epiphany. I wasn’t exactly sure why I was in such a sour mood, if it was the lack of sleep, the fight with Tyler, just a general case of the “Mondays” or the fact that I did not feel great today, my foot was killing me most of the day and we were swamped. I tried several times to change my day, I tried listening to upbeat music, I tried looking up funny videos, I tried talking to a friend nothing seemed to help, so I kinda begrudgingly just tried to get through the day. At some point I reached out to my boyfriend and asked him to make it better, of course, he did but sometime during that time it dawned on me, it is not up to him to make my day better, and it is not up to me to make me more confident, it is up to no one but me. I can go on a quest to fill a void of low self-confidence by looking into others, but I will never truly find it unless I find it within myself first. Tonight I began researching different ideas to boost my self-confidence, and as I was researching I discovered something that I have been lacking and something that I think could be the cause in my low self-esteem. About 10 months ago I stopped going to CrossFit, I was very active in my CrossFit gym up until this point. I felt like a complete badass most of the time. Around this time, my CrossFit gym changed locations and everything changed, the space was smaller, it was not comfortable and I was able to simply quit going. When I quit going my self-confidence slowly started going down the drain. I stopped caring so much about my health, and I stopped caring so much about working out to the point where I did not work out. I still do not work out, and I am currently injured but I do want more than anything to heal myself and get into the gym again. I do not know that CrossFit is for me again but I do want to get back to working out so that I will slowly start to feel better about myself. Being confident is not only about physically feeling better but accepting everything about me, good bad and otherwise. Yes, feeling better has something to do with it but knowing that you love everything about yourself and that you love yourself so much that nothing that anyone says about you can shake you is something totally different. I am not there yet, but this is what I strive for. One day I will get there, one day I will be strong enough and corageous enough to love myself wholely and with out any reservations.

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Author: diaryofadallasgirl

Lifestyle Bloggin’, mama struggling with the teenage years, on my own personal journey to mental and physical health, while struggling with ADHD/Anxiety. Working every day to build myself stronger while building my empire one day at a time. Total shopaholic, world traveler, foodie, Texan, Aggie, nurse, foodie, lover of all things beautiful and empowering. 📍Dallas, TX 💌diaryofadallasgirl@gmail.com

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